Hot Mess Cooling

It's Halloween. Due to Stupid Sandy we are trick or treating on Saturday. It is raining/snowing and very gray outside. I got an excellent nights sleep last night and so did SJ. All of these things have combined to make me a little sentimental this morning. As I held my little hot mess after she ate a ginormous bottle this morning, I was purposefully taking in nose fulls of her baby head smell. She was laying so still and peaceful with her full belly. The house was quiet and I was getting drunk on her smell. And I started to wonder, does that magical sent go away, or do we get so busy we forget to smell their wee little heads? It was such a peaceful moment that I grabbed my phone and tried to capture just a little of my personal magic for the day. I tweaked it a little in Snapseed, but I think I might have caught some of it.

The magic ended a few minutes later and the hustle and bustle of a school day started. Lunch to pack, hair to fix, breakfast to serve, you know the drill. We rushed out the door into the cold Halloween morning. Doodle was plugged into a movie in the car and SJ slept the warmth of her carseat. And I thought about that moment. I realized that sometime in the last few weeks I started to enjoy SJ. Please don't misunderstand, I have always loved her, but she hasn't been that enjoyable. We have exited the blob phase and entered intot he begiining of the fun. I am thrilled for all that is to come, but this morning while smelling that sweet baby head smell, I was acutely aware of all the things that are leaving our family for good. After the stress of a postitive quad screen, two bouts of pre-eclampsia and two colicky babies, we are content with our happy healthy family of four. That doesn't mean that I can't be a little sentimental about the end of each phase. I know that there are fewer and fewer sleepless nights to come, but also fewer "first holidays" to celebrate. I know that there will be less and less screaming to come, but also fewer baby death grips on my finger while holding a bottle. I know that soon there won't be a baby small enough to stretch out on my body and take a cat nap. And knowing all those things, I tried hard to enjoy this rainy, cold, gray day.

SJ and I enjoyed most of our morning, although she refused to take more than the pictured nap. We picked Doodle up from school and little early. SJ is finally napping and I am snuggled on the couch with my Doodle Bug. And I am reminding myself to be patient with her 4 year old self, because soon she too will grow and change and I will miss her at 4!

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