Beauty In 3's

This post is definitely out of order.  But this picture deserves a story all it's own and I wanted to have time to tell the story.  Right now Doodle and my Favoritest are out shopping for soccer balls.  The house is quiet and I am ready to share.  I have mentioned that this pregnancy has not been smooth sailing.  We have had a couple of spotting scares.  I have felt pretty crappy off and on.  In addition to that, we have been playing a waiting game for a couple of months.  As part of routine screenings we had an ultrasound when Sadie was 14 weeks along.  They look at the thickness of the baby's nucal fold (skin on the back of the neck).  This measurement combined with blood work provide good indication of Downs Syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities.  We had the scan, the neck looked good.  I left with a lab slip and didn't think about it again.


Flash forward 3 weeks and the blood work comes back.  The results were "screen positive" for Downs Syndrome.  What that means is that given my age, our chances for having a baby with DS was higher than average.  We had a level II ultrasound to look for any other "markers" for DS.  The good news was we found out that Poppy was in fact a Sadie.  The unsettling news was that they couldn't see 3 bones in Sadie's pinky.  Apparently this is a soft marker for DS.  Everything else about her was healthy, normal, and measuring right on track.  The high risk OB said she couldn't reduce our risk because of the pinky, but you could have a missing pinky bone for other reasons.  HUH??? We left the hospital a little shell shocked and unsure of what to think.  We declined an amnio because risking our daughter's life for our own knowledge just seemed selfish.


We did however get a second opinion with another high risk ob in town (Dr. T).  He was much more thorough when explaining the significance of the pinky bone in DS prediction.  His words were that given everything else about our daughter looked normal, he didn't put much stock in the pinky bone.  He agreed with our decision not to have amnio.  Our feeling was that she is our daughter and she is who she is.  We wouldn't do anything differently with the results so why risk the procedure.   Dr. T offered to do our regularly scheduled anatomy scan at 22 weeks, and given our experience with him, we scheduled the appointment before leaving.


My Favoritest and I decided to focus on the joy in our life.  We were having another daughter.  Doodle was having a sister.  We couldn't wait to share the news!  We did however decide to keep the testing results to ourselves.  I shared with a few close friends because I have to talk things out to process them.  My Favoritest told some colleagues at work mostly because that is how we got the appointment at Dr. T's office and because he needed additional time off work.  But for the most part we didn't share.  We didn't want to scare our family and we really needed time on our own to process things.


I spent a few weeks watching Doodle grow and learn new things wondering if Sadie would do those things in her own time.  I saw adults and children with DS everywhere I looked over the next few weeks.  They were always happy and engaged in meaningful activities surrounded by love.  I just smiled knowing it was a message.  I am not a super religious person, but I know God was telling me Sadie would be okay no matter who she was.  And that became my mantra.  "She is who she is and we love her".


As our anatomy scan grew closer and closer I started to ask God to make sure we had some answers after the ultrasound.  I didn't ask that her pinky bone be there.  I didn't ask for him to take away DS if that is who she is.  I asked him to give us answers.  To let us see a clear picture of her pinky one way or another.  I asked for clear pictures of all her other organs and bones.  And I asked for peace with whatever we saw.


We had the anatomy scan on the 14th.  The sonographer was very thorough and answered all our questions as she went along. She knew our concern regarding her pinky and tried several times to get a good view of Sadie's hands.  Stubborn girl wouldn't cooperate.  Everything else looked great.  Her heart, stomach, brain, nose, bones, and all her other organs were perfect.  Dr. T came in, and I immediately told him our stubborn girl wouldn't show her pinky.  He laughed and told us it was really normal for her gestational age to keep their hands balled up.  He tried a couple of times, and then turned on the 3D feature of the ultrasound.  And there they were.  The 3 most beautiful things I have seen in a very long time.  Three perfect bones in her perfect little pinky.

March 14 (238/365)

We walked out with good answers and very at peace.  Is there still a chance she could have DS?  Of course.  But based on the images from the ultrasound, we are at no greater risk than anyone else at this point.  The whole experience has made for a challenging couple of months.  I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  I decided to share this story a while ago.  I decided that after our anatomy scan I wanted to share the story no matter what.  I want Sadie to read this years from now and know how much she was loved from the minute we knew she was part of our family.  Medicine and technology have given us the ability to know so much about babies before they are born, but there are still surprises.  We know that Sadie's organs and bones are healthy and where they should be.  We even got a sneak peek at her precious face and fingers.  The surprise will be in finding out who she will become as she grows into her personality.  All I know right now is that we are two lucky parents to get to watch her grow up!