Sink Epiphany

I read in a magazine, that we as mothers feel responsible for the bond our husbands and children share.  I know that I for one fall into that category.  I constantly worry that due to his work schedule, Izzy will not see her daddy as an equal partner in our parenting.  I encourage (nag, shame, order) my husband to spend time with our daughter anytime he can.  Don't get me wrong, he is a fantastic daddy.  He loves our daughter and enjoys being with her and taking care of her.  He just has so many other things on his mind and his "to do" list, that sometimes I feel responsible for encouraging him to spend time with her.

All that being said, last night after dinner, I told him to leave the kitchen and come play with his daughter.  They played and read books, and I started the kitchen.  As I listened to them play, my husband would tell me things he was noticing her do.  "You know she is walking much better", "She really loves the dogs", and other comments like that.  Of course, my answer was "Yeah, I know" or "She has been doing that a while".  I really gave no more thought to it than that.

As bedtime approached, he gathered her pacifiers and told Izzy to get her new lovey Tiny (a sock monkey).  Daddy and daughter (carry the monkey by the tail) headed up to stairs.  When they got to the bottom of the stairs, Izzy handed her monkey to her Daddy.  He called over his shoulder "She just gave me Tiny to carry so she can concentrate on the stairs".   I responded quickly and without much thought "She does that every time we go upstairs now!"  I heard him mumble a response and up they went.

In that moment I had a sudsy epiphany.  I need to let him make some discoveries about and with our daughter.  I am so worried about him spending time with her and having a good relationship, that I forget the little things that make all the fussing and crying worthwhile.  He not only misses out the fussing and crying during the day, but he misses out on her new habits and skills and tricks.  I sometimes need to share in his discoveries of her.  It is those little moments that help Izzy and I to know each other, and I am realizing it is a simple way I can help them continue to have a great relationship.